It feels like every week the world becomes a little more upside-down and inside out. What do we believe? Who do we believe? How do we make the simple day to day decisions that once took mere seconds have now extended into days? When will the vaccine be ready? Will a vaccine be ready? Where do I go to get tested? Can I have my antibody levels checked? What do I do about sending my kids to school in the fall when I am scared to let them out of my sight? And the list goes on and on……
The truth is, I don’t know that any of us have the answers – it is okay not to know. It is perfectly okay to be feeling everything you are feeling. Don’t dismiss it. Don’t justify it. Don’t talk yourself out of it. Accept that everything you are feeling is legit and valid.
I have spent a great deal of time during these last four months in meditation and introspection. My intention for these monthly articles is to always in some small way inspire each of you. But what do I write about that isn’t already out there? How can we have a conversation that doesn’t include a left or right or an up or a down? How can I translate my thoughts into words and hope it will inspire a wave of health and healing?
The only way I know how to do that is to be myself. Raw and authentic.
I thought I would share the story of how I came to practice with the principles and beliefs that I hold.
There was a time in my early years of practice when my patient schedule would be bookmarked with 20+ patients, all spaced in increments of 15 minutes. I barely had time to say ‘Hi’ to them and next thing I knew, I was walking out the door. There was no time to ask them how they were doing or how the family, kids, or work life was going. We had time to address only one problem at each visit, leaving the rest for a future appointment.
I will never forget the day that I decided I needed to make a change. It was March 2011, and as usual my schedule was double booked with no breaks in sight. As a person who is time conscious, I make it a point to stay on time, but one small set back in the day would put me behind by at least an hour. The day started like any other. I was feeling good that I was on schedule and the stars were aligning. By late morning, a quick 5 minute break opened. I felt like I hit the jackpot. I walked into to see my next patient before that break, only to find out her beloved husband had suddenly died. How could I leave her in the middle of her anguished tears just because the timer on the 15 minutes was ticking down? I couldn’t! So I stayed there to be with her.
I was very well aware of the angry patients that began to line up after her. They also had places to go, things to do, people to see. However, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that our time was finished. I wanted to give her the respect of my time as she began telling me about the special love she shared with her soulmate for over 50 years.
I also knew it was not fair to the others who were waiting after her because their time was just as important and valuable.
The internal tug-o-war was too much for me to handle. Both pulled at my heart strings and I didn’t know what the right thing to do was. Stay and comfort or politely excuse myself?
It was in that moment I knew I couldn’t do this anymore. How was I to take care of somebody in 15 minutes when they were placing so much trust in me to help them?
I went home that night 2 hours behind schedule only to collapse into a pool of defeat.
When I graduated from medical school, I took the oath “First Do No Harm,” NOT “First Do No Harm but only for 15 minutes!”
This realization left me with no choice except to make the decision to change to Concierge Medicine.
In September 2011, I began my new practice. There was an exponential learning curve during those initial days. I had to give myself permission to take my time. I had to get used to the fact that there was no reason for me to rush. What a feeling of freedom and joy I had!! Nine years later, my patients have become like family. I cherish hearing their stories. I relish in their experiences, and I rejoice in their healing.
Concierge medicine has allowed me to scale down my patient volume from having a panel of 3000 patients to a panel of 300 patients. This gave me the opportunity to take care of patients in a way I never thought possible. The concept of Concierge Medicine has only come to the forefront in recent years. As more focus is directed towards preventative medicine, concierge practices will soon become mainstream medicine. The last nine years have offered me the opportunity to engage in full dialogue with each one of you. I no longer feel a sense of urgency to stop the appointments in mid-sentence in an effort to stay on time. For me, the most profound experience has been the process of learning together with my patients. I always say I don’t have all the answers, but why not find out together? To engage in dialogue that brings about mutual growth and discovery is the best platform I know how to offer.
The time gives me the chance to earn your trust and I hope it allows you to feel heard.
We don’t always get it right – but we always have something to work towards.
Why I am writing about this now is because everything around us, outside of us and inside of us, is chaos and confusion. When equal trust spans between physician-patient, you know you have an anchor to always hold onto.
Practicing Concierge Medicine is the reason my bond with each of you allows me the space to say “You know what? I don’t know what is going to happen. I don’t know when things are going to be okay, but together we will figure it out.”
Dr. Raman’s Concierge Medical Practice is focused on holistic care and good health maintenance. For more information on healthy eating habits and achieving and maintaining OPTIMAL health, CONTACT our office today to schedule your appointment. You can also learn more by following Dr. Raman on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Pinterest.